By Jean Nelson
Love is essential to life. Babies need it for growth hormones to function so they can to survive and thrive. We all sense the safety, warmth and security of love. It is sustenance for us. Love is where we came from in the eternities. It’s the very foundation of life. Our first conscious memories of love come from our nurturing mothers and fathers in healthy family relationships. As we grow older and get beyond the boundaries of home and family, we treasure the love of friends. Life would seem empty and meaningless without connections built with the energy of love.
I think we all dream of the perfect love… of having someone special to love and be loved by. Disney and Hollywood both support our hopes and desires for true love from our youth and we love the dream. Romantic love is highly valued and sought after by nearly everyone. It’s the most demanding, the most tempestuous, and also so very endearing. We all strive to find the “one. ”
Ideals of love include someone who’s perfect in every way, which none of us is… We look for someone who is beautiful in body and soul, trustworthy, adoring, kind, thoughtful, strong, courageous, genuine, loyal, devoted, committed, hard working and fun. Ideally, this person will have common interests, values, goals, and many other wonderful things… but every list is a little different.
I had a realization shortly after being married. The thought was startling. It was that love was about being of service. Being newly married, we were feeling so happy. We were so focused on each other and loving just being together. Living the dream made it easy to feel the fruits of love, happiness, warmth and contentment.
The idea that love is just about instantly feeling the emotion of love by simply falling into it would leave all the loving to someone else. Feelings of love require doing the loving if it is to last. Making the joyful effort to be loving is what creates the magic. Relationships require sustained loving or there is the risk of falling out of love.
What this means is that love brings with it a choice, an ongoing one. To feel the fruits of love, you need to continue to choose to love by doing what it takes. People have always said that you have to work at love. What they are saying is that you need to keep loving by doing loving things day after day. Love takes many forms in daily life… cherishing, caring, honoring, supporting, listening, sharing, appreciating, helping, planning, playing, dreaming, creating, celebrating, and more. For love to stick, you need to take a sincere interest in the many attitudes of loving.
Love is always a choice. We can do or not do what creates loving feelings each day. We can look for ways to demonstrate our love or we can ignore the little promptings we feel could show love for our lover. And then we have the consequences of the choices we make. For a relationship to continue in love, the choice to be loving is best as a constant. Making the decision to love is commitment and brings with it trust, safety and a sense of belonging.
Love is communicated through kind and thoughtful deeds, meaningful time spent together, genuine words spoken, thoughts and sentiments expressed and felt, thoughtful gifts, and human touch. Relationships are an ever changing and evolving thing that need nurturing so love can grow strong. If you know how love is best received and felt by those you want to give your love to, you are wise to use those avenues to express your love.
It’s essential to act in loving ways, if love is what you want more of in your life. Love is worth creating, embracing fearlessly and cherishing. The energy of love multiplies and expands, as every parent is sure to find out with the birth of each new child. Every time you open your heart to others to serve them, you grow in compassion and love. Likewise, when you refuse to listen to the inner knowing that tells you to help, love and serve another, you reject the light and truth that is speaking through your heart, diminishing your own joy and possibly theirs. Often your trapped emotions from traumatic events of the past will influence whether you choose to serve others or not, so it’s best to clear your trapped emotions. Hurt or not, you always have a choice.
If you have been hurt by someone you’ve loved or by someone who you thought should have loved you, it’s important to realize that it wasn’t love that hurt you, but rather, the lack of it. None of us is perfectly loving all of the time. We’re human… and humans make mistakes. We can get deeply hurt by those we open our hearts to who betray themselves by betraying love itself. When people are untrue to love, they cheat themselves and others of its beauty.
You may have experienced deep hurt at some point in your own life. The silver lining about being hurt is that you are taught how it feels to be hurt. You learn empathy. Then you can decide to be kind and loving regardless, so you won’t cause deep hurt in others. You can strive to be your best and truest self. The greatness that we all admire in another person is to see him or her become victorious over tremendous odds and come out on top with a dynamic spirit and a loving heart. If we keep love alive through our trials, we are allowing God to create greatness in us. Love is a power. Love heals us. Even broken hearts can heal with love.
When your heart, the very core of you, is threatened and feels vulnerable, you might put up a wall to protect yourself. Most of us do this. It’s a subconscious coping mechanism of a sort, an attempt to disconnect from your own heart’s ability to feel the pain. Heart-Walls isolate, insulate and disconnect you from some of the pain, but they also numb much of the love and joy you long for and need to feel to be happy. They cause you to live more out of your head instead of from your heart. Unfortunately this allows you to be unloving and feel okay about it because you loose empathy and short-circuit your relationships. Having a Heart-Wall will prevent you from being connected to people in a loving way. It’ll keep you from being truly and deeply happy.
There’s hope if you have a Heart-Wall… That’s what The Emotion Code will teach you, so that you can have love in your life! It’s possible to heal…and really LOVE how you feel! I invite you to experience The Emotion Code and embrace the joy that comes from having an open heart. Join me and be Heart-Wall free! You can be more open to love, joy, and charity for all people. You might even have a little more romance, too.
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Learn all about The Heart-Wall in this exciting webinar with Dr. Bradley Nelson
The concept of the Heart-Wall seems simple enough – a protective wall of energy made of trapped emotions. But what if there was more that you weren’t aware of? Join me, Dr. Bradley Nelson for an interesting and informative 75 minute webinar where I uncover everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the Heart-Wall – and how it could be affecting you! I’ve performed live sessions with webinar attendees chosen at random, so don’t pass this one by!
Topics discussed include:
- The significance and symbolism of the Heart-Wall “material”
- Creating a new Heart-Wall – how and why it happens
- How possible it is for one person to have multiple Heart-Walls
- Where Heart-Walls and Inherited emotions intersect
- When you should NOT release someone’s Heart-Wall!
- Facing the same life without the old armor of a Heart-Wall