written by Lisa Magnusson CECP/CBCP
Safe boundaries that exist between two people in a relationship are an indicator of happiness. This boundary, which defines the purpose of the relationship – be it professional, ecclesiastical, or personal, helps both parties be successful.
Relationships break down when those boundaries are ignored. This is frequently observed in all settings, such as a friend taking advantage of a kind gesture and staying too long on the living room couch.
When anxiety and resentment deteriorate the relationship. Work stalls, explosive conversation ensues, and the angry parties either part ways or endure each other under less than ideal circumstances.
As practitioners, we all have a good understanding of the impact of negative emotions on relationships. Our best results come when we have a positive head and heart, and are not focusing on the frustration of a relationship. Yet there are moments when we feel someone has overstepped, be it a client or a fellow practitioner. But just as we counsel our clients – we can remove our own emotional trauma as well as choose to develop a healthy emotional pathway.
Tips for Building a Healthy Client Relationship:
First, know the role of a practitioner! If we know our own bounds, it will be easier to set healthy expectations. What we do: help release imbalances. As a Body Code practitioner, we also suggest herbal remedies to assist the body in its healing process. We are grateful to be included in the client’s healing process.
What we don’t do: We avoid diagnosing and claiming to cure any ailment. We also avoid adding strange or fringe therapies and refer to it as part of The Body Code. We do not elevate ourselves so that people become enamored with us and our gifts, rather than the healing process inside of them. Finally, while being empathetic, we are not therapists and relationship advice is not our forte.
As we become confident in our role, we better understand the client’s. The client may be someone you don’t know, or someone who is a relative or close friend. Each person is different, but it will be important to have a slight shift in the conversational cues to a more warm, friendly, and formal tone. Making unnecessary jokes or acting too casual to lighten the mood has the opposite effect on a client who may already be feeling vulnerable.
One of the best ways to build a healthy client relationship is have certain rules set for hours of the day that the practitioner will answer emails or take phone calls from clients. It may be worth the time to have responses ready for questions that are likely to irritate or insult. For instance if a client emails you for more than just client-related inquiries, one could respond by saying “I am grateful you value contacting me, and I am enjoying our time during our sessions. I may not be able to address all of your needs in the time that you seem to need them. If you have any further questions, I will be happy to address a few of them during our session together. I am unable to answer emails as frequently as I would like to, and prefer this method best. Thank you!”
For clients who complain about charges, perhaps a good response may be, “I recognize this is a sacrifice for you. It was for me when I was a client. This is less expensive than major specialists and surgery, and takes less time. I consider this fair market price for the efforts that I put in to helping others get well.”
Any client who tries to manipulate a practitioner into going to extreme lengths to satisfy them should be released immediately. Co-dependency often causes feelings of anxiety and that we feel obligated to rescue another person over and over again. As caring practitioners, it is natural to have feelings of distress when a client seems dangerously down. But, just as we tell others that we do not cure illness, we need to also believe that we are unable to cure people’s problems. They must do this on their own in conjunction with professional assistance.
The best way to identify if someone is trying to be manipulative is the affect that it has on the practitioner. Does the practitioner feel guilty if they don’t answer an email immediately? Does the practitioner get an unhealthy sense of “I’m the only one who can help this person?” Does the practitioner feel a resentful sensation when this client books with them, rather than gratitude for another appointment? These are all some of the warning signs that a client has overstepped their bounds. At this point, I recommend referring them to someone else.
Occasionally, individuals call in who pose as clients, but have other motives. Members of the press should be referred immediately to Healers Library. In the United States and most Western countries, if a member of the press does not identify themselves immediately, none of which you say to them may be used in print. It is important to know your rights in this matter. If there is a sense that a client may have dubious intent, end the conversation quickly, refund the money, and instruct them not to make contact again.
Tips for Building Relationships with other Practitioners:
Being a practitioner is an interesting dance of marketing yourself, while trying to lend a helping hand to others who are just starting out. There is a way to protect your growing business and clientele, while avoiding the pitfalls of capitalistic competition.
The first is the golden rule approach – do unto others as you would have them do to you. If you have ever asked someone for help and they trusted you with technique or knowledge, utilize it in a way that best honors their gift to you. Taking advantage of someone’s kindness merely puts you on Karma’s bad list.
Never steal ideas, marketing labels, or anything unique to someone’s practice. Not only is it damaging to this unique network of professionals, plagiarism and other such deeds don’t attract the right kind of energy into your world.
In most cases, practitioners should refer questions about technique, or The Body Code/Emotion Code questions, to the staff at Healers Library. Any unique business practices are at the discretion of each practitioner. If a practitioner gives someone permission to utilize someone unique to their practice to someone else, it is common practice to give that practitioner credit, accompanied with a link to their web page. Anything utilized from Healers Library should be linked back to the site. Body Code practitioners also have access to Healers Library’s business center.
It is a natural tendency to believe that we need to be most ruthless to get ahead when building a clientele and niche. The Body Code has taught us that this philosophy is damaging, rather than fruitful. You will be guided to the people who need your specific help. Recognize there are certain people who are drawn to certain practitioners.
Finally, let’s avoid the spirit of lack. There is enough abundance to go around, and as practitioners we need to believe this too. I truly believe that what you give, you get back a hundred fold.
about the author:
Lisa Magnusson is a certified Emotion Code and Body Code practitioner, focusing on weight related, emotional trauma, and chronic conditions. She lives with her family in the Western United States.