Do you tend to feel anxious when it comes to relationships? Do you feel you can’t entirely trust a relationship? Whether it’s romantic, friendly, professional or familial, trust in a relationship is a big deal. Consider how a lack of trust might impact the relationship dynamic:
- If you don’t have trust in your spouse, or you question their love for you, your suspicions or insecurities could undermine your bond.
- If your best friend or sibling is convinced he or she can’t trust you with a secret, there could be an invisible wedge between you.
- If you don’t think your boss really believes in your abilities, it’s likely to affect your work and make you feel anxious about any task you’re given.
Signs You Need More Trust in a Relationship
If you’ve ever suffered from situations similar to the above list, you’ve probably experienced a lack of trust in a relationship. Here are some specific signs that you might be feeling overly anxious about one or more relationships.
- You aren’t sure you matter to the other person.
Maybe you feel your partner or boss wouldn’t really miss you or your work if you weren’t around. Or maybe you have the feeling your best friend wouldn’t really be there to support you in a crisis.
- You doubt your partner’s feelings for you.
Do you have a nagging doubt that your boyfriend or girlfriend really loves you? Do you imagine that when they seem distant, it must be because of you (when it could be any number of things?) Do these feelings rise to the level of a fixation?
- You fear you’ll be dumped at any time.
A sound relationship should help you feel more secure, not less. If you have a persistent fear of being left, fired, or dumped, this may undermine the foundations of any type of relationship.
- You unwittingly sabotage the relationship.
It seems crazy, but if you believe self-sabotage is a real thing, then why not relationship sabotage? Do you feel yourself picking arguments, pushing your partner away, or testing relationship boundaries with little bits of deception?
Overcoming Lack of Trust in a Relationship
Learning to trust in a relationship isn’t easy, but with time and effort, you can do it! If you feel a lack of relationship trust is a big problem for you that requires counseling, please seek it out. But if you’re simply looking to strengthen a relationship and increase your ability to trust, here are some things you can try.
- Keep your own identity intact.
Some people tend to identify so strongly with the other person in a relationship that they lose pieces of themselves, and begin to identify as a two-fer instead of an individual. Be careful to maintain your own sense of self; keep the hobbies, beliefs, and opinions you’ve always held. Your partner loves you because of who you are — don’t stifle that because you think it will help you hold onto a relationship.
- Practice positivity.
Be mindful of when you become stuck in negative thought patterns about your relationship, and recognize when those thoughts aren’t rational. Simple mindfulness is a great tool for many types of anxiousness. If you realize your fears aren’t based in reality, sometimes that can help you turn them around.
Don’t be afraid to loop your partner in on what you’re going through. Explain that you know your anxious feelings or lack of trust in a relationship is coming from you, not things they are doing. Their reassurances of their love for you may not take away your anxious feelings, but it can’t hurt! Plus, your vulnerability may even strengthen your bond.
- Release Trapped Emotions.
If you have trapped emotional energies of betrayal, abandonment, heartache, insecurity, love unreceived, worry, or bitterness, you could be locked in a pattern because some part of you is feeling those feelings 24/7, regardless of other factors. Releasing these energies using The Emotion Code® could make an immediate and significant difference in your ability to trust in a relationship. There is even a free starter kit available for download.
Without relationships, life would be bland and joy would be hard to come by. Try these tips, and if needed, seek professional advice on how to overcome a lack of trust in a relationship.