Just Imagine how your life would feel if you could not remember a time when you felt excited about being alive.
This is precisely the story a client shared with me when we met for the first time, that I would like to share with you.
To preserve my client’s confidentiality I will call her Jane. She is a 45 year old woman who was struggling with many issues in her life related to her health, career and most particularly, her relationship with her husband.
When she came to me she had been struggling for over 10 years to build her career, which she said was stalled. She was also in a phase after 16 years of marriage where she and her husband were on the verge of separation as there was no communication or intimacy left.
Together we identified some strategies that she agreed to work on to see if it would help to improve her life in a positive and pleasant way. Jane was excited to incorporate them in her life and she stuck to the plan and worked daily to improve her situation.
Following her fourth session with me she reported that her career was taking off as her clients were lining up for her services. She further reported that her health challenges were also improving as her digestive issues had begun to regulate and she had more energy to plan daily workouts and focus on her diet.
However the one area that seemed to get worse was the relationship with her husband. She shared how she had made all these amazing improvements in herself and was being more open, but her husband was always picking fights with her, finding fault and treating her disrespectfully. She blamed him for all that was wrong in their relationship.
As I listened to her describe her husband’s behavior, I waited for a pause and then asked her this question: “When your husband walks into a room where you are sitting, what is your immediate thought about him”. Jane immediately responded, “I am usually so irritated with him that I think pretty unpleasant things about him”.
I said, “Okay. Now could you share with me, what do you feel about him when he walks in the room?” Jane looked at me and then said, “well I usually am not very happy about his presence, he irritates me and I find myself feeling so angry at him”.
I said, “Okay, now that you know what you think and feel when he walks in the room, what do you believe about him when you are together?” Jane looked at me with tears in her eyes and she said, “I have this belief that things won’t get better and I will never be happy.”
My next question was, “Okay Jane, if you are now aware of how you think, feel and interact with him, how and why would you expect your relationship with him to improve?”. Jane asked me what I was trying to say.
My response was to ask her if she thought it was possible that her husband was picking up her energy and was responding to her in the way she expected him too?
Jane acknowledged that she could see that his behavior might be in response to the way she was treating him and that their definitely seemed to be a connection.
This became a turning point for Jane and the opportunity for her to see that if she changed her pattern of behavior it might change her relationship with her husband.
Jane realized it was not about placing blame anymore it was about accepting her part in making a change that would make her happier.
Together Jane and I worked on some new patterns of thoughts she could use and practice when she and her husband were together. She agreed to practice them for a few weeks and to let me know how she was doing.
After sticking to the plan for several more weeks, she finally emailed me these happy results.
Here are few quotes from her email.
“it’s actually a very loving and happy environment in my house these days. My husband is jovial, playful, loving …. actually more affectionate than I think I can handle yet! …… Fewer harsh words and definitely more hugs.”
You may be wondering what Jane and I did together to gain such wonderful results?
Using The Body Code and The Emotion Code systems, we were able to release old emotional patterns of thought and behaviors that had become a habit in Jane’s life. The release of the old pattern gave Jane an opportunity to focus on what she most wanted in her life. The results speak for themselves. Jane’s health, career and relationship have all improved because she decided to make a change in her own patterns.
About the author:
Sharon Deugo is a certified practitioner of The Emotion Code and Body Code Systems, a groundbreaking approach to self-healing developed by veteran holistic physician Dr. Bradley Nelson. Sharon holds a degree in psychology and lives in Caledon, Ontario, in the greater Toronto region. For more information visit www.FootprintsHome.com. Or call 905-880-7380