“If we could look into each others hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.” – Marvin J. Ashton
Acceptance begets attraction. We are mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically drawn to those who accept us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we reacted to our spouses with compassion rather than the reactionary passion of negative feelings? Can you imagine how mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically passionate a marriage could be in an environment of acceptance and compassion?
From experience both in my practice and my personal life, I am delighted to share the good news about The Emotion Code and its ability to unlock our hearts to access deeper levels of acceptance, and the healing balm of compassion in our marriages.
Opening our hearts to long-term love can be a great and terrible thing. Great because it has the highest potential for acceptance, and a deep and abiding companionship; terrible because it is a place where we are most vulnerable and often experience the most emotional pain. Many of our actions and reactions are triggered by past experiences we may, or may not remember. As a result, we may unwittingly cause our spouses (and ourselves) emotional pain. The Emotion Code pinpoints specific stressful events in our lives that were never fully processed by the body. These become quite literally trapped emotions. Within the context of relationships, I call these behavior buttons.
Experience tells me that you and your spouse probably both married each other with trapped emotions already in your bodies. You likely also had Heart-Walls in place before you came together. Your daily interactions often trigger these stress buttons caused by trapped emotions from the past. Emotional reactions then occur, causing, and perpetuating emotional stress. It has been my experience that when these buttons are removed, marriages are improved.
What a pleasure it is to watch couples that were once on the brink of divorce, release Heart-Walls and trapped emotions from each other in a loving and non-judgmental way (a requirement in our sessions), and find peace and acceptance. I am not suggesting that their weaknesses are magically whisked away into the Universe, never to annoy again. I am suggesting that they seem to be more willing to understand each others unique perspective. With these insights, they begin to see the love and acceptance they can give each other as the solution to their marriage problems.
These emotional revelations soften hearts, and deepen a couple’s acceptance, respect and appreciation for each other. They seem to deal more compassionately with one another. I hear things such as, “I had no idea that experience created those emotions for you!” or, “I didn’t know you went through that experience as a child!” Once we move the old buttons out of the way, couples are able to see more clearly what the real issues are. They are then able to put more energy and effort into those issues, rather than managing reactions to the past.
Removing the buttons, or trapped emotions that distract us from the love that surrounds us in the present, opens our hearts to giving and receiving love in a more compassionate, selfless way. Acceptance begets attraction. Compassionate marriages become passionate marriages. Your children and grandchildren will rejoice in your new and strengthened love. Their emotional foundation will be more secure, and they will have a positive example to follow.
A thriving society requires strong marriages. Society finds its strength in its families. Families find their strength in the love shared between two spouses who cherish each other. Thus, your efforts to strengthen and heal your marriage will extend far beyond your own home, and your happy marriage will help heal and bless the world.
– By Alisa Fisher, Certified Emotion Code Practitioner