Do you have a hard time saying no to certain things or people? Is it difficult for you not to drop everything to do someone a favor, or stress yourself out because you want to help someone or be involved in as many things as possible? If so, you might have an issue with people pleasing.
People pleasing is usually driven by good intentions. We want to be nice. We sincerely want to help. We don’t want to be perceived as selfish, unhelpful or incapable. Or, maybe we feel that saying no will lead to a confrontation we don’t want. Whatever your reasons for people pleasing, it can lead to you feeling overwhelmed or neglecting your own needs because you’re so busy trying to please everyone else. To all you people pleasers out there, we have one thing to say: Stop it (please). 😉 There are a lot of methods — energy healing included — that might help in saying no.
How to Say No With the Right Words
If saying no is kind of a new thing to you, it might help to have these techniques in your back pocket for the very moment someone asks you for something. Often, the obstacle that stands between you and a polite refusal could be as simple as getting the words out or knowing how to respond without too much thought. With that in mind, here are some literal ways to politely say no.
Keep it Simple
You can be direct and still be polite. Say something like, “I really appreciate you thinking of me, but I’ve really got too much on my plate to take on something else.” Or you can try, “Thanks for the invitation, but I’m afraid I’m already booked.” Keep in mind that you haven’t done anything wrong, and there is no need to apologize. You’re simply opting out for your own good, and learning how to say no to things.
Defer Until Later
If you really want to agree to what is being asked, or if you simply don’t know what to say in the moment, you can buy yourself some response time by saying, “I really need to check my workload and get back to you.” Then you can think it over, examine your priorities, or think of a way to diplomatically decline if that’s what you want to do.
If you’re being asked to do something you simply don’t want to do (such as a social activity you don’t enjoy, or a date with someone you’re not interested in), try something like, “I’m glad you invited me, but that doesn’t really line up with my goals right now,” or, “I’m flattered, but to be honest, I think we shouldn’t complicate our friendship by dating.” You could also be more frank and tell them you don’t want to give them the wrong impression of your feelings or preferences by saying yes to a date or social activity.
If the other person is a good friend or family member, you could even explain that you’ve been working on your ability to say no, and that doing so is really for your own emotional or mental benefit. If they love you, they’ll probably understand.
Keep Your “No” In Perspective
In learning how to say no, remember that you’re simply turning down a request, not rejecting a person. You might love and respect the person making the request, but don’t let that make you feel obligated. Chances are, they’ll completely understand — especially if you’re gracious and reaffirm your fondness for them in your response.
Eliminate Emotional Baggage
Could there be a Trapped Emotion making you more inclined to people please? Learning how to say no might be easier if you remove that emotional energy with The Emotion Code™. The following emotions or even some others might lead you to saying yes to things you should really turn down:
- Effort unreceived
- Love unreceived
If you have trouble saying no, practice these techniques and resolve any Trapped Emotions. Taking these steps might help you learn how to say no and take better care of your emotional health.