People who are emotionally intelligent or have a high EQ (emotional quotient), have the ability to identify and manage their own feelings. Additionally, they are able to recognize emotions in others. When someone else is feeling distressed or uncomfortable they can empathize with those feelings. This makes them good friends, good partners, and good leaders. Chances are, these are the kinds of people you want in your life — the kind that can handle their own emotional healing and even help support yours. Let’s take a look at 10 signs of high emotional intelligence.

1. They think about feelings

It sounds simple and it is. Emotional intelligence is largely about awareness, both of self and others. Self-reflection is key, as is empathy. You may not agree with someone, but you can see where they’re coming from. Reflecting on feelings is key to emotional healing.

2. They try to control their own thoughts

You may not be able to control how you feel all the time, but you can control how you react by monitoring your thoughts. If you can reign in your thoughts, you can avoid becoming a slave to your feelings.

3. They can take constructive criticism

Negative feedback isn’t fun, but even when it’s unnecessary or false, it can be used as a learning experience. Emotionally intelligent people can ask the question: “How can this feedback help me improve?”

4. They think before acting

The simple act of taking a moment to stop and think before acting — or reacting — is a sign that you’re able to consider the appropriateness of your reaction and avoid making rash decisions based on a momentary feeling. This ability is a good sign of real emotional healing.

5. They’re authentic

Say what you mean and mean what you say. This doesn’t mean you express every thought or emotion, but that you’re guided by principle.

6. They give praise

Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued. When you praise someone for a job well done or for their character, you satisfy their need and build trust. This is something emotionally intelligent people are not afraid to do. And rather than a general, “you’re so great,” they can be specific in their praise. Giving praise can contribute to the emotional healing of those around you.

7. They say they’re sorry

It takes guts to apologize. But doing so demonstrates empathy and humility, and will make others want to be around you. It’s part of the emotional healing process. Giving an apology doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wrong, but it does mean you place the relationship above your own ego.

8. They forgive — and forget

Emotionally intelligent people can move on from a disagreement or offense. They know that holding a grudge doesn’t allow emotional healing but actually allows others to hold their emotions hostage.

9. They serve others

Selflessness is one of the hallmarks of an emotionally intelligent person. When you’re secure in your sense of self, you naturally look to help others and see how you can give of yourself.

10. They don’t allow emotional sabotage

Emotionally intelligent people can feel it when someone is trying to manipulate them, and know when to back away.

Surrounding yourself with emotionally intelligent people can bring more joy into your life. Seek friends with a high EQ (emotional quotient), practice The Emotion Code®, and take care of your own emotional healing.