Do you ever find yourself making choices or acting in a way that undermines what you really want? Perhaps you sabotage yourself and your progress when you’re about to succeed. Even with the best of conscious intentions, we often allow this self-sabotage to creep in and prevent us from reaching our goals. For example, maybe you really want to lose weight, but keep compromising when it comes to sweets or exercise. Maybe you want to be more loving with your spouse, but continue to be critical or nit-picky. So how can you stop self-sabotage and take control of your life? Let us share some helpful tips.

The Trouble With Self-Sabotage

Perhaps the worst thing about self-sabotage is that we don’t usually realize we’re doing it. If we did realize it, we’d probably cut it out, right? But why is it so hard to take a look in the mirror and see what we might be doing to frustrate our own progress? Maybe you’ve been subconsciously “trained” to do so by watching family members. Maybe other people sabotage you, so you’ve formed a habit of doing it to yourself. Maybe trapped emotions play a role in the doubts and fears that undermine your success. Whatever the cause, here are seven ways you might be sabotaging yourself — and what you might be able to do about it.

7 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Yourself

1. Focusing on Failure

We usually think of successful people as those who don’t fail. But truly, most people who succeed have many failures in the past – those failures lead to the skill and wisdom to succeed the next time. Successful people often fail, but never give up. They’re able to focus on the positive takeaways of their failures and rise above them.

Rather than feeling defeated when you fail, look for the lessons and the things you’ve done right that you can build upon. The negative energies of frustration, shame, fear, or worthlessness are likely to keep you in that pattern and even become trapped. Try channeling your setbacks into positive learning experiences.

2. Not Celebrating Small Victories

Think about this for a minute. When friends, family, or coworkers compliment you on a job well done, doesn’t it motivate you to keep going? We all need positive feedback and appreciation from others, but how much of this do you give yourself? If you’re like most people, probably not enough.

When you’re working on a goal, it helps to break it down into smaller milestones. The same concept can be applied to the celebration of those milestones. Don’t wait to pat yourself on the back until you’ve reached your goal. Celebrate the minor victories you achieve along the way. And if you’re working on a character trait or new habit, let yourself be proud of everything you do — or don’t do — that gets you a little bit closer. Embracing these small victories will contribute to positive overall energy.

3. Procrastination

This is a big one! When you’re embarking on a big project at home or at work, do you often put it off until tomorrow? Do you wait to start until the deadline is looming? If you feel like procrastination is a cycle for you, it may result from feelings or trapped emotions of fear, dread, or insecurity. When you don’t release those feelings, or you or let them drive you, you may set yourself up for failure by procrastinating. Few of us do our best work when we procrastinate, and resolving the emotions that may cause you to put things off can make a world of difference in your success.

Focus on progress over perfection. Working on a task for a few minutes is better than not at all! Action leads to motivation, not the other way around! The hardest part is beginning—so start small and build momentum.

4. Faking It

Ever found yourself putting on a fake smile when you really feel sad, angry, or resentful? Join the club! But just because everyone seems to do this doesn’t mean you have to live that way. Releasing these negative emotions may be as quick and easy as using the Emotion Code® to rid yourself of that energy. It has helped thousands of people release negativity, and experience the joy and motivation that keeps them moving toward the things they really want. Why fake it when feeling better could be so simple? And if you do need friends or others to lift your spirits, surround yourself with those people.

Of particular importance may be releasing your Heart-Wall®. The Emotion Code can help you with this, too!

5. Imposter Syndrome

Ever felt like you’re not worthy of your career, your family, or other aspects of your life? Ever told yourself or others that you don’t deserve it when something good happens to you? If so, you may have what’s commonly called “imposter syndrome.” This is when your feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness persist even with evidence that shows otherwise. You might feel like a phony, or be afraid that someone will realize you don’t belong where you are.

When you feel this way, take stock of your accomplishments — write them down. Don’t just focus on the big things. After all, the small stuff is what adds up to make you the person you are. Hold onto your list. Add to it at every opportunity. Use it to fuel positive affirmations about who you really are and what you’re capable of. With practice and some work on releasing trapped emotions, you can break out of those negative thought patterns.

Learn more about overcoming Imposter Syndrome here!

6. Setting Unrealistic Goals

Setting unrealistic goals sets you up for failure! Then, when you don’t achieve success, it reinforces negative beliefs about yourself. It may make you feel like you should just avoid setting goals altogether. For example, perhaps you set a goal to meditate for an hour daily… when you’ve never meditated before! When you inevitably get distracted within the course of a whole hour, you might feel disappointed and discouraged. That makes quitting far more likely. What if, instead, you set a goal to meditate for three minutes every day? Then, when you achieve that goal and feel great afterward, perhaps you feel motivated to extend to four minutes instead! 

Try setting S.M.A.R.T. goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Sticking to realistic goals will help build your momentum and support your success!

7. Negative Self-Talk

Does your mind like to repeat limiting beliefs, telling you things such as “I’m not good enough” or “I never follow through”? Those types of thoughts are common, but they’re certainly not helpful! When you speak negatively toward yourself, you undermine your confidence, lower your own self-worth, and convince yourself that it’s not even worth trying. For example, if you constantly think that you’re not smart enough, or contributing enough at your company, you might think it isn’t worth asking for a new title, or requesting a raise! This negative mindset keeps you from taking risks that could lead to growth and opportunities. When you constantly tell yourself you’ll fail, you’re more likely to act in ways that confirm that belief.

So, every time you have a negative thought about yourself, try to replace those thoughts with positive affirmations! The Belief Code can be incredible for releasing negative subconscious belief systems – which could be causing those negative thoughts. 

Your Guide to Overcoming Self Sabotage: Start Believing in Your Own Success!

Chances are, you believe in showing grace to others and giving them the benefit of the doubt. We should all extend that same attitude to ourselves! 

  • Learn from your failures
  • Celebrate small victories
  • Resolve feelings that cause procrastination
  • Rid yourself of negative energy
  • Release negative beliefs about yourself
  • Set achievable goals
  • Focus on progress over perfection
  • Note your accomplishments
  • Forgive yourself when you make mistakes
  • Speak to yourself like you would to a friend

We believe in you! It’s time to believe in yourself. Learning to stop self-sabotage in its tracks is a continuous journey – but you can start taking small steps toward your goals right now!