No matter our goals, sometimes we end up making choices or acting in a way that undermines what we really want — this can lead to you sabotaging yourself and your progress. Even with the best of conscious intentions, we often allow this self-sabotage to creep in and prevent us from reaching our goals. For example, maybe you really want to lose weight, but keep falling off the wagon when it comes to sweets or exercise. Maybe you want to be more loving with your spouse, but continue to be critical or nit-picky.

The Trouble With Self-Sabotage

Perhaps the worst thing about self-sabotage is that we don’t usually realize we’re doing it. If we did realize it, we’d probably cut it out, right? But why is it so hard to take a look in the mirror and see what we might be doing to frustrate our own progress? Maybe you’ve been subconsciously “trained” to do so by watching family members. Maybe other people sabotage you, so you’ve formed a habit of doing it to yourself. Maybe Trapped Emotions play a role in the doubts and fears that undermine your success. Whatever the cause, here are five ways you might be sabotaging yourself — and what you might be able to do about it.

Focusing on Failure

We usually think of successful people as those who don’t fail. But think of it this way: the people who succeed may actually have more failures in their lives because it’s those failures that lead to the skill and wisdom to succeed the next time. The successful people are the ones who failed many times and didn’t give up. They’re able to focus on the positive takeaways of their failures and rise above them.

Rather than feeling defeated when you fail, look for the lessons and the things you’ve done right that you can build upon. The negative energies of frustration, shame, fear, or worthlessness are likely to keep you in that pattern and even become trapped. Try channeling your setbacks into positive learning experiences.

Not Celebrating Small Victories

a woman on a yellow background celebrating a victoryThink about this for a minute. When friends, family, or coworkers compliment you on a job well done, doesn’t it motivate you to keep going? We all need positive feedback and appreciation from others, but how much of this do you give yourself? If you’re like most people, probably not enough.

When you’re working on a goal, it usually helps to break it down into smaller milestones. The same concept can be applied to the celebration of those milestones. Don’t wait to pat yourself on the back until you’ve reached your goal. Celebrate the minor victories you achieve along the way. And if you’re working on a character trait or new habit, let yourself be proud of everything you do — or don’t do — that gets you a little bit closer. Embracing these small victories will contribute to positive overall energy.


This is a big one! When you’re embarking on a big project at home or at work, do you ever put it off? Do you feel like this is a cycle for you? Procrastination may result from feelings or Trapped Emotions of fear, dread, or insecurity. When you don’t release those feelings, or you or let them drive you, you may set yourself up for failure by procrastinating — and then having to rush to meet deadlines. Few of us do our best work when we procrastinate, and resolving the emotions that may cause you to put things off can make a world of difference in your success.

Faking It

Ever found yourself putting on a fake smile when you really feel sad, angry, or resentful? Join the club! But just because everyone seems to do this doesn’t mean you have to live that way. Releasing these negative emotions may be as quick and easy as using The Emotion Code™ to rid yourself of that energy. It has helped thousands of people release negativity, and experience the joy and motivation that keeps them moving toward the things they really want. Why fake it when feeling better could be so simple? And if you do need friends or others to lift your spirits, surround yourself with those people.

Of particular importance may be releasing your Heart-Wall. The Emotion Code™ can help you with this, too. 

Imposter Syndrome

Ever felt like you’re not worthy of your career, your family, or other aspects of your life? Ever told yourself or others that you don’t deserve it when something good happens to you? If so, you may have what’s commonly called “imposter syndrome.” This is when your feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness persist even with evidence that shows otherwise. You might feel like a phony, or be afraid that someone will realize you don’t belong where you are.

When you feel this way, take stock of your accomplishments — write them down. And don’t just focus on the big things. After all, the small stuff is what adds up to make you the person you are. Hold onto your list. Add to it at every opportunity. Use it to fuel positive affirmations about who you really are and what you’re capable of. With practice and some work on releasing Trapped Emotions, you can break out of those negative thought patterns.

Be Kind to Yourself & Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Chances are, you believe in showing grace to others and giving them the benefit of the doubt. We should all extend that same attitude to ourselves. 

  • Learn from your failures
  • Celebrate small victories
  • Resolve feelings that cause procrastination
  • Rid yourself of negative energy
  • Note your accomplishments

If you can do these 5 things (use The Emotion Code™ to help you!), chances are you’ll be better equipped to stop sabotaging yourself and start achieving your goals.