Everyone suffers from heartbreak at one time or another. As human beings with emotions, imperfections, and the need to be loved, none of us is immune. While the capacity for healing relationships may be inside you, sometimes a broken relationship can’t be repaired. It’s times like these when it’s critical to know how to heal heartbreak, so you can move on and experience joy.
Healing from heartbreak can be a long process. You might question what went wrong. You might feel like you (or the other person) are to blame. You may feel like you’ll never get over it and be happy again — let alone be able to love someone else. While there is no single, correct method for healing from heartbreak, there are some things you can try in order to enable your innate ability to recover from the loss. Here are a few suggestions.
8 Steps to Move on From Heartbreak
1. Choose to Heal
This might sound silly. I mean, of course, you would choose to heal, wouldn’t you? Most people would. But without realizing it, we may also give ourselves too much time to wallow in self-pity. While a period of sadness and loss after heartbreak is perfectly normal, be careful not to use your heartbreak as an excuse to bury yourself in your job, abuse alcohol or substances, jump head-first into another relationship, or have an extended pity party. This is not how to heal from heartbreak — this is how to bury your feelings or delay your ability to move on. Instead, acknowledge the heartbreak. Allow yourself to feel and process it. Give yourself permission to do that, but not to wallow in or bury those feelings.
2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Most of the time, the old adage that it “takes two to tango” holds true in healing from heartbreak. One person rarely bears all the responsibility for a relationship falling apart. Did you make mistakes? Probably. Did the other person make mistakes? Sure. But it’s one thing to apologize and feel sorry, and another thing to feel ongoing guilt for something you cannot undo.
And while you’re not beating yourself up, remember not to beat up on the other person. Even if they did a number on you, for your own health and balance, it’s critical that you let it go — whether they’ve apologized or not.
3. Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Expecting yourself to feel better immediately won’t allow you to fully experience your feelings. If we don’t process our emotions, they are more likely to become trapped as negative vibrations inside us. Instead, try to acknowledge your sadness, anger, and any other feelings! It’s okay to feel whatever you feel.
4. Pick Up Your Passions
You should never bury your feelings in work, substances, or a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s. But following your real passions — the hobbies and pursuits that bring you joy — can go a long way to boosting your spirits and your healing from heartbreak. Sing, write, dance, paint. If you love creating, create. If you love soaking in art or surrounding yourself with music, do it. Writing can be a particularly helpful way to get your feelings out in a productive way.
5. Ask For Support
Heartbreak can make us feel alone, but the truth is, many people can empathize with this experience. Call your best friends, your family, or anyone you know you can rely on. Our loved ones usually want to support us, but if they don’t know what’s going on in our lives, they don’t have the chance! You’ll be surprised how much better you feel after sharing how you feel with one or two people. If you don’t have a strong support system, consider joining a support group or talk therapy session.
6. Serve Others
If there’s one thing in this life that can help you forget your own troubles, it’s helping others. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Help your friend move. Crochet a blanket for a new baby. Write a comforting note to your mom or your best friend. Getting outside yourself can make healing from heartbreak more bearable.
7. Release Emotional Baggage
If you’re dealing with emotional baggage or negative energy from past experiences or heartache, it could undermine your capacity for healing relationships or healing from heartbreak. Find, decode, and release trapped emotions or other negative energies with the Emotion Code® or the Body Code™. Getting rid of those issues may enable your mind, body, and spirit to recover. You have the ability to do so, you just need to enable it through balance.
Energy Healing to Release Emotional Baggage: Become a Trapped Emotion Hunter
Ghosts of feelings and trapped emotions can lurk in your subconscious, even if they’re inherited from others and were not personally experienced by you. These ghosts can keep you on a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs.
But the good news?
They can be released.
The first thing you must do to rid yourself of these ghosts and start feeling whole again after leaving past relationships is to identify who or what these troublesome spirits are. Begin by doing some close personal observation. Do you get agitated after being around a certain person? Is there a specific kind of phrase, comment, or interaction that sets you off?
Often, these triggers have nothing to do with the current person or situation at all, but instead, are a result of hidden imbalances after a break-up or deterioration of a relationship. For example, if you were in a verbally abusive relationship with a spouse who constantly put you down, a mere suggestion on how to do something as simple as folding clothes or washing dishes can unnerve you. You might begin to feel out of control; like that ghost of a past relationship is haunting you all over again.
One important thing to remember is that these triggers don’t have to define who you are, how strong you can be, and how far you have come. Triggers are your body’s natural responses to past hurts, and their purpose is to let you know you have trapped emotions waiting to be dealt with. Thankfully, the answers you need to deal with them are already stored in your subconscious mind; all you need to do is access them.
Energy Healing to Release Emotional Baggage: Cut the Cord
Just because you have removed yourself from a relationship physically does not mean you have disconnected yourself from that person on a subconscious level. In this context, cutting the cord means eliminating the unseen force that binds you to past relationships that no longer serve you.
Cords, or energy cords, are invisible energetic connections to people from your past. Most of them are good, but some are unhealthy and need to be severed. Once you have identified your ghost (or ghosts) of past relationships, all you need to do is ask the necessary questions to let them go and cut that cord.
For example, let’s say you have found an energy cord that ties you to a former best friend who has hurt you. Using the Body Code, ask yourself a series of questions to help you identify and sever that connection if you find it to be detrimental. You could ask, “How is this cord tying me to him or her? Is there a specific event or interaction that causes and perpetuates it? When was it created? What’s the energetic attraction? Why do I keep letting her get to me? Is it time to move on, or can we rid ourselves of this ghost and mend our relationship?”
8. Move On From Heartbreak
Energetic heartbreak can lead to physical issues. Whether you’re married, divorced, or going through your first break-up, losing a partner dramatically increases your risk for physical heart damage.
If you’re in the middle of a heartbreaking situation, it might be time to get your heart checked, says a groundbreaking study published in the cardiovascular medical journal OpenHeart. The nineteen-year study by Aarhus University examined over 900,000 medical records to conclude that the recent death of a partner increases your risk of developing an irregular heartbeat by 41%. And the more sudden the death, the higher the risk.
“Stress has long been linked to arrhythmia in the heart, and the acute stress of losing your partner in life constitutes one of the biggest impacts of psychological stress one would experience,” said lead researcher Simon Graff. “We wanted to examine that association.”
Subjects under age sixty were more likely to develop an irregular heartbeat than their older counterparts. The greatest risk occurred 8-14 days after their partner’s death and gradually diminished over the following year.
Not married? You’re not exempt. A 2015 study by Duke University attested that divorce can increase your chances of having a heart attack by 24%. A 2011 study by the University of Michigan confirmed that physical pain and romantic break-ups activate identical brain regions.
While you often can’t control the outcome of a relationship, you can control your emotional response. Use the Emotion Code and the Body Code to see if trapped emotions or Heart-Walls are impacting your heart’s health. Practice stress-reducing activities like relaxation, meditation, and positive self-talk, or consult with a trusted medical professional.
Move on from heartbreak by focusing on gratitude for what was learned through the relationship, appreciating the experience for what it was, and trying your best to practice understanding and empathy. Take this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, develop new positive thought patterns, try out new activities, and deepen other relationships in your life with friends and family.Taking small steps now can ensure a happy, healthy heart for years to come.
Recovering from past relationships is much more of a process than a task. However, those past hurts can be moved out of your way and balance can be restored. At Discover Healing, our goal is to help you achieve a higher vibration and more positive energy partnerships.
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